


The poison is terrible in flavour

by A_Small_Collection_Of_Nonsense



Category: DuckTales (Cartoon 2017)
Genre: Angst, Bonding, Cabrera just wants to help but NOPE, F/F, Fluff, Gen, Mini Fic, Sorry you can’t care about the McDuck family, character almost dIES, character gets shot, rapid life saving, they have a reputation, will add more tags later
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-13
Updated: 2019-10-24
Packaged: 2020-10-18 00:09:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,270
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20629826
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/A_Small_Collection_Of_Nonsense/pseuds/A_Small_Collection_Of_Nonsense
Summary: In the aftermath of the Moon’s invasion, there’s something wrong with Beakley





	1. Funzo’s most despised customers

**Author's Note:**

> Hey! So I’m writting this because it kind of annoyed me that Beakley deadass gets shot and it’s never brought up through the finale, so I thought I’d give my own little explanation.
> 
> The title is from a song by TOP, though I switched the word “lead” for “poison”

Della and Donald returned to the table with what probably should have been considered an ungodly amount of ice cream, but given the circumstances they were counting them as they were handed out to make sure they had enough.  
The employees of Funzo’s had all collectively groaned when the gigantic McDuck family walked through the doors and asked for a table. The McDuck Family coming in meant that today would probably be the day the world burned to a crisp, they had to make sure Magica wasn’t on duty, _and_ they took up a lot of tables.  
But they _had_ just saved the world from an invasion, so they had to give them some sort of credit.  
The McDucks had taken up several tables, since they’d brought Darkwing, Quackfaster, Lena and Violet’s Dads (Lena and Violet were there, obviously), Gyro and the Cabrera’s along with them as thanks for helping them.

The tables could only occupy four people each, so Della, Donald, Penumbra and Scrooge took one, and by some extreme luck there was room for Gladstone at the table, and Fethry had squeezed in too. Webby and the triplets took another, though Webby ran back and forth between all of the tables. Violet and Lena took a table with their Dads, the two adults looking somewhat confused as to what on earth was happening, Launchpad, Drake and Beakley sat at a table very close to the one that Quackfaster, Gyro, Fenton (who’d changed out of his suit) and M’ma Cabrera had seated themselves out, because Beakley alternated between talking to Launchpad, and talking to Quackfaster.

Donald and Della went around all the tables handing out the ice creams they’d ordered everyone (M’ma, Quackfaster, Scrooge and Beakley had all petitioned for alcohol but there was no way the twins were letting them drink in front of the kids), smiling fondly as the kids cheered, threatening the Sabrewing’s parents with death if they even dared try and pay for anything despite Scrooge saying it was fine, and lightly swatting Lena on the head when she said that the ice cream tasted awful and that the shadow realm made them better.

Donald and Della returned to their own table with a lot more than four ice creams, because it turned out they didn’t have ice cream on the moon, and so Della was making sure Penny tried every single flavour. Penumbra was less than enthusiastic about this.  
Scrooge and the twins caught each other up in everything that had happened, Donald telling Della all about the Boys’ younger years, and Scrooge quizzed Penumbra on exactly how much gold there was on the moon.

The kid’s talked about nothing in particular. They talked about family and the moon for a while, but for the most part Louie showed them weird videos he’d found, and Dewey quoted vines.

Micheal and Thomas tried their best to understand what on their adopted daughters had been doing, which went a little something like this:  
“So, kids, what the fu-“  
“What your father means” Micheal interrupted his husband, giving him a stern look whilst Lena snickered, “Is that we’d like to know what did to help fight the invasion”  
“Through use of magic and strategical planning, we-“  
“We kicked moon butt send tweet”  
“Lena, honey, this is a verbal conversation” Thomas said, sounding very tired  
‘Don’t tell me how to live my life, Dad”  
It also didn’t help that every couple of minutes a member of family would interrupt, ranging from Webby and Dewey coming over to show their friends one of the videos Louie had shown them, to Beakley passing by to let them know that she’d kill them if they didn’t take care of Lena properly, since she hadn’t had a chance earlier.

The last two table’s conversations merged together, since not only was Beakley holding two different conversations at once, it turned out that Drake (who was also out of costume) and Fenton got along quite well when they weren’t suited up.  
Beakley, Drake and Launchpad discussed Darkwing Duck, and Beakley informed Drake that yes, she did know that he was Darkwing because she was a spy so of course she did.  
Quackfaster, M’ma, Gyro and Fenton mainly discussed books, and Beakley would join in with the conversation sometimes too, though she mainly talked to Quackfaster, because they never talked much anymore.

That’s how things were for perhaps an hour, before Quackfaster announced that she had to get back to work, and Drake said he’d go too, because one of Quackfaster’s jobs was near where he lived, and he liked having someone to talk to.  
Gladstone and Fethry had also decided to leave, because Fethry needed to get Misty home, and Gladstone had to go and attend an ward ceremony, because he had apparently just won an Oscar for his accidental cameo in the background of a popular movie.

Beakley and Launchpad joined Gyro and the Cabreras after that, they only just managed to squeeze the five of them in to the four man table, but they made it.  
Beakley had been listening to the conversation taking place, though she hadn’t said anything, when she over heard Penumbra and Scrooge talking.

‘It depends where the victim is shot’ Penny was saying, and Scrooge was listening interestedly, ‘A shot to the heart means immediate death, but anywhere else is more complicated’  
‘How so?’ Scrooge queried.  
‘It emits a poison into the body, which takes a varied amount of time to settle’  
Della joined in at this point, ‘What’d you mean settle in?’  
‘It stays dormant for a while, and then it starts to work it’s magic’  
If Beakley had been able to see them, she would have seen that Penumbra’s face had morphed into a smirk.  
‘When the poison sets in, it slowly weakens you, starting with where you were shot, and then kills you’  
‘Yeesh’ said Donald, taking a gulp of some coffee he’d ordered after he’d finished his ice cream.  
Scrooge laughed, the sort of laugh you laugh when you’re amazed, ‘Well, at least no one was shot’ he said, and Della giggled,  
‘Apart from the Lil Bulb and Gyro clones’  
‘God rest their souls’ Donald deadpanned, and everyone at the table laughed.

Beakley’s hand involuntarily went to her arm.  
‘Are you alright?’  
Beakley was brought out of her trance by Mrs Cabrera, who was the only one who seems to have noticed her listening into the other’s conversation, and was looking at her with a concerned expression.  
‘Oh, I’m fine’ she said, her years as spy making the lie easy, ‘Just thinking about everything that could’ve gone wrong’  
‘That way if thinking is dumb and unproductive’  
‘Doctor Gearloose! Being worried is perfectly rational!’ Fenton told him off, looking slightly afraid as he did  
‘It really isn’t’  
‘It’s ok Mrs B! We’re all here!’ Launchpad said, putting his arm around her and giving her a squeeze, and Beakley tried not to wince as he had accidentally squeezed her wound. Instead she smiled gratefully, and perked up a little, managing to sell the concerned grandmother act.  
Almost.  
Mrs Cabrera was looking at her suspiciously, and Beakley remembered that she was a detective. It was funny, she used to laugh at detectives in her youth, as far as she and many other SHUSH employees were concerned the police were just boring versions of spies. Of course as she’d gotten older and more mature she’d realised that the police actually were competent, but she still didn’t quite trust them.  
And now a detective seemed to easily see through her disguise.  
M’ma was distracted from her glaring by Fenton tapping her in the shoulder, and Beakley sighed in relief, giving Launchpad, who still hadn’t moved his arm, another grateful smile to cover it up.

A few minutes passed, and Scrooge stood up on a table, and tapped his spoon against a glass.  
‘Alright troops, Duckburg is in shambles-‘  
‘That’s a change’ Donald muttered, and Della punched him in the arm to shut him up,  
‘And we need tae fix it!’  
‘Ugh, seriously?! We just saved these people, we’re not the clean up crew!’ Louie complained, throwing his hands in the air for added dramatic effect.  
‘Aye, but this is our town an-‘  
‘The city board’s paying him to clean it up’ Said Della, ‘They said something about it being good for public image, or whatever’  
Scrooge glared at his niece, and got down from the table.  
Within the minutes, the family, with The Cabreras, Gyro, and Lena and Violet’s Dads obviously being included, had collected outside of Funzo’s to discuss how they’d go about getting Duckburg back in order.

M’ma Cabrera gave Beakley several suspicious looks, but Beakley did her best to play herself off as a concerned Grandmother.  
She didn’t have time to let anyone know about the injury, there were more important matters at hand.

Besides, it probably wouldn’t even have an effect on ducks


	2. Collapsing at the sight

The doors to the manor were thrown open by Louie, who proceeded to dash into the living room to catch the season finale of Ottoman Empire.

The rest of the family were less enthusiastic about their entrance, choosing to walk through the doors at a normal speed.   
The Cabrera’s household had been badly damaged during the invasion, and so Scrooge was letting them stay at the Manor whilst they tried to make it liveable again, much to M’ma’s delight. Gyro had tagged along too, because he wanted to examine Penumbra’s sleeping schedules, which Della and Penumbra were trying to discourage him from doing, because Penny didn’t seem to like the idea of a skinny chicken watching her sleep.  
Webby, Lena and Violet had begged their respective guardians to let them have a sleepover, though Micheal and Thomas had been hesitant and at first. The moon had just invaded, so they weren’t exactly willing to let their daughters spend a night in the house that had been their first target.   
But Mrs Beakley had put a reassuring hand on Micheal’s shoulder, and swore to protect their girls with her life, and Lena and Violet weren’t sure if they’d let them stay because they trusted Beakley or feared her.   
No one was particularly surprised that the houseboat has been a victim of the invasion, it seemed to be at the forefront of every battle they faced. Upon seeing it, Donald had sighed and trudged into the manor to claim his old room before Della asked Penny if she wanted to sleep in his bed   
(He needn’t have worried, because Della was more interested in asking her if she wanted to share a bed).

With all the guests in the mansion, a large dinner was in order, so M’ma offered to help Beakley prepare it, and Della dragged Penumbra in with them so she could see and taste earth cooking.   
M’ma was still giving Beakley concerned looks, to which she’d return an awkward smile whenever they made eye contact.

Della had snorted with laughter when she saw the state the Moonlanders had left the kitchen in.   
There was pieces of half finished chicken legs scattered all over the floor, smashed plates that looked as if there had been an attempt to eat them, drawers half open and a strange green liquid coming out of the fridge.   
Penumbra had chuckled nervously as Beakley collapsed at the sight.

Though M’ma had a feeling that it wasn’t the state of the kitchen that did that.

Beakley staggered forwards, clutching her arm and letting out a pained sort of grunt, and M’ma immediately caught her, ‘Woah there, are you alright?’  
Beakley nodded unconvincingly as Penumbra came and helped her stand, since M’ma was to small for holding Beakley upright to be anything other than a challenge.  
Mrs Beakley felt cold to touch, and her eyes suddenly looked tired and heavy. She didn’t seem to be able to stand alone either, as she leant a good deal of her body weight onto Penumbra.   
‘Get her through to the couch’ M’ma ordered, and Della ran ahead to tell the others what was happening, whilst Penumbra and Beakley followed behind.   
‘M’fine, I ca-‘  
‘Quiet’ M’ma snapped at Beakley, who was to tired to argue with her.

When the three of them arrived in the living room, the couch had been cleared and the TV had been turned off, and Louie was currently clinging to Donald’s leg as he held the remote high in the air where he couldn’t reach.  
Webby came dashing through to the living room, looking as if she’d just been told that everyone she cared about had suddenly died, and immediately ran over to help Penumbra sit Mrs Beakley down on the couch.  
Beakley gave Penumbra a grateful smile, leaning on the arm of the couch in order to stay upright, and Webby jumped up onto the couch to sit next to her, pulling her Granny’s arm around her so she could use her for support as well.  
It was as she did this that Scrooge, who was behind the couch, noticed several loose threads on a small line of Beakley’s cardigan, and at least one tiny little hole in the line. He might have written it off as nothing if Beakley hadn’t cried out in pain when Webby accidentally touched it.

Scrooge narrowed his eyes, and tore the threads apart, ignoring Beakley’s protesting,  
‘What the-‘  
‘It’s _fine_’  
Beakley cut Scrooge off, but her voice was weak, and when Scrooge glared at her and poked the wound, she cried out in agony.  
The wound in question wasn’t great.  
Blood soaked her feathers, almost making the shape of a skull where it was particularly prominent. Every now and then a tiny bubble would appear, and pop within a second of its formation. It was that and the fact that the wound was boiling that gave away that it was a burn of some description.   
Though Scrooge wasn’t sure if it really was a burn, because burns generally didn’t form in a shape that resembled a skull so closely, and as far as he knew they didn’t bubble, especially after being left alone after what Scrooge suspected was quite a while.  
‘_Fine_?!’ He spluttered the second she spoke, as all this had flashed through his brain within a few milliseconds, ‘Just how is this fine?!’  
‘It hardly even hurts – you’re over rea-‘ Beakley cut herself with a cry that almost scraped the boundaries of a scream as Scrooge gently hit the wound, and proceeded to shake his hand in disgust as blood stuck to it.   
‘Ah yes, screams of pain!’ said Scrooge, smiling innocently, ‘The universal sign of everything being fine!’   
‘Are you okay, Granny?’ asked Webby, moving her grandmothers arm, accidentally causing her to cry out in pain once again.  
‘I’m fine, dear’ Beakley grunted out through gritted teeth, aiding Webby in moving her arm off of her shoulders and resting it on her lap.   
‘You don’t sound fine’ said Webby, concern and suspicion both evident in her tone, ‘What happened?’

‘She’s been shot’  
Everyone turned to the source of what was said – Penumbra.   
She stood a little away from Scrooge, not close enough for any human to be able to see the details of a wound, but perhaps close enough for a moonlander.   
‘_Pardon_’ said Scrooge, his voice dangerously low, and a glare on his face. Penumbra briskly walked around the couch to face Beakley, and roughly took hold of her arm, ignoring Beakley’s painful protests. She stared at the wound for a good few seconds, before dropping her arm just as quickly and roughly as she took hold of it. She turned to Scrooge,  
‘She’s been shot’, she confirmed, ‘Almost a day ago, the shot was aimed at the heart but luckily missed’   
‘That is clearly not a bullet wound-‘ Scrooge spluttered, only for Penumbra to cut him off, ‘She was shot with a moonlander’s gun’

There was a pause where nothing was said, and all that could be heard was a few pained grunts as Beakley tried to move her arm, and Scrooge seething behind her.  
‘Tell me you’re joking’   
Scrooge’s voice had somehow gotten lower and deadlier, to the point that Louie stepped back and Della placed a comforting hand on her son’s shoulder.  
‘She isn’t’ Beakley admitted with a sigh, ‘About the being shot part at least, she could be talking nonsense about the lucky miss bit-‘  
‘I was not’  
‘Noted’  
‘Do you mean to tell me’ said Scrooge, slowly walking from behind the couch to stand next to it’s arm, ‘That you were shot, almost an entire day ago, and your didn’t think tae tell any one?!’  
Scrooge had begun to yell at this point, causing Lena to step behind Donald, and Violet to consider whether or not it would be a good idea to call their Dads and have them pick her sister up.   
‘There were much more important things at stake-‘  
‘MORE IMPORTANT THAN YER LIFE?!’  
‘Yes, that’s what I said’  
‘Hey, Uncle Scrooge, I think you should maybe take a time out’ said Donald, placing his hands on his Uncle’s shoulders and guiding him out of the room before he killed Beakley himself. But not before sending Beakley a glare.

There was a pause after they left where no one had it in them to say a word, until,   
‘WHAT THE _HELL_, LADY’ Della exclaimed, throwing her arms up and stomping over to Beakley, ‘OK, YOU DON’T GET TO LECTURE ME ABOUT RESPONSIBILITY ANYMORE-‘   
‘DELLA DON’T MAKE ME TAKE YOU OUT TOO’ called Donald from another room,  
‘HOW ARE YOU NOT MAD?!’ Della screamed back,   
‘TEN YEARS OF THERAPY’  
‘Oh yeah’  
Della sighed and pinched the pride of her beak, ‘Beakley you can’t just not tell people you’re hurt! Pretending your fine is stupid!’  
‘I am fine, besides, there was nothing to pretend-‘  
‘Well, you did a rather good job at Funzo’s’  
Heads turned to M’ma Cabrera, who hadn’t said a word until now.   
She stormed up to Beakley, teeth gritted and fists bared. Della, mildly afraid, stepped out of the way, and Cabrera took up residence of the designated yelling at Beakley for being an idiot spot.  
‘You lied to me’ She said, voice dangerously low, ‘You lied to me when all I wanted to do was help you’   
Beakley sighed, ‘Look, it’s nothing persona-‘   
Beakley was cut off by a slap in the face, ‘Ouch…’ she grumbled, nursing her cheek, ‘Yeah you deserved that’ said Della.

Cabrera turned on her heal and stomped her way into the kitchen, Fenton following behind her and promising to do his best to defuse the situation.

‘Granny, why didn’t you tell us?’   
Webby looked up at her Grandmother with obvious concern, and Beakley almost looked guilty, ‘As I said dear, everyone was very busy doing much more important things’  
‘BUT YOU’RE IMPORTANT’ yelled Launchpad, coming up behind the couch and hugging her from behind, causing Beakley to wince, ‘Ow- Launchpad, shoulder-‘  
Launchpad immediately stopped, looking as if someone had just told him he’d accidentally killed seven people, ‘Wait! I had my arm around your shoulder at Funzo’s!’  
‘Correct’  
‘D-did it hurt?’ he asked, shifting from foot to foot and sounding like a nervous child,  
‘No, it didn’t, you were fine Launchpad’ Beakley lied, and no one had the heart to tell her off for doing so in fear of hurting Launchpad.

Just as they began to look around the room to see who was next up to hell at Beakley, the doors burst open, and Scrooge McDuck entered the room with a look of determination on his face,

‘We’re going to Ithaquack’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! Sorry it took so long to update, I had a bit of a writers block lol
> 
> I’m changing the amount of chapters this is gonna have to unknown, because the dialogue here dragged on for longer than planned so I ended the chapter before I intended to, so we’re gonna end up with more chapters than originally intended ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ 
> 
> Please, please, please leave a review to let me know what you think! I love getting your feedback!

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed! Please review, I’d love to know what you all think!


End file.
